The Noticing Project

A Response-able Leadership Exercise

Noticing Your Reactive Patterns

Important relationships can fall into familiar loops. Even when you cannot control another person's behavior, you can become more able to choose your own response.

In this research-informed activity, you'll examine one recurring interaction with curiosity and self-compassion, choose a small values-consistent response, try it for seven days, and return to reflect on what changed—and what did not.

This activity is informed by established psychological research. This specific Noticing Project version is a new educational activity; it is not a clinical treatment or an independently validated intervention.
  1. 1

    Step 1

    Map the pattern

    Notice the trigger, your inner reaction, and what usually happens next.

  2. 2

    Step 2

    Try one response

    Choose a small, values-consistent response to practice in ordinary life.

  3. 3

    Step 3

    Reflect after 7 days

    Return to consider what changed, what did not, and what you learned.

Demo mode: responses are not saved.

Choose an experience that feels manageable to reflect on today

Do not use an abusive, threatening, coercive, or otherwise unsafe relationship. This educational activity is not counseling or mental-health treatment, and you may pause or stop at any time.

The relationship you want to improve

Map your usual reaction

What do you notice inside yourself at that moment?

Widen your perspective

Empathy is an attempt to understand another perspective. It does not require agreement, forgiveness, or giving up a boundary.

Choose a more deliberate response

Which qualities or values do you want your response to express? Select up to three.

Follow-up reminder

We recommend returning in seven days. A second reminder is sent three days later if Part 2 remains incomplete.

Your privacy

Your responses are private by default. Your educator can see whether you completed each part and privacy-safe class trends, but not your relationship descriptions or other free text. Do not include names or details that could identify another person. This activity does not offer public sharing.